- As another Earth Day comes around, I'm grateful
for the progress we've made in treating our planet
with greater respect.
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- Still, my heart breaks seeing key eco-crises
continue, including global climate disruption,
collapsing fish populations, and permeating toxics
that steal both our health and our wealth.
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- Thus I keep looking for new ways that I can
help us steer more quickly away from eco-collapse, to
protect all that's precious on this planet, including
ourselves.
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- While there certainly are many possible
remedies, I want to explore one I haven't seen
discussed much: how understanding and applying the
abuse model can help us heal our relationship with the
earth.
-
- Because what I've come to see is that abuse is
common not only in American families (of all income
brackets), but also in our workplaces, political
structures, media perspectives -- and how we
treat our beautiful and sacred planet.
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- The Abuse
Dynamic
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- So what does this look like? Let me start with
my definition of abuse, which I see as the
intentional dominance of one person over another in
ways that are demeaning, disempowering, and
destructive to the second person.
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- I want to be clear that this is not about
people being clumsy, imperfect, or having
different styles. Abuse is a specific mindset where
people see themselves as innately superior, take
whatever they want for themselves with no concern for
the cost to others, see only their perspectives as
true, take no responsibility for the suffering they
cause, and won't re-examine their approach. The abuser
just wants the fun rewards without offering meaningful
service in return, and freely punishes anyone who
tries to negotiate any of this, perceiving them as
"uppity" and ungrateful for not knowing that their
proper place is serving the abuser. This approach
often leads to violence, both by the dominators and
those who resist, trampling many innocents, but the
corrosive damage of abuse starts long before
this.
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- Unfortunately, abusers can be difficult to
identify because they cloak their dominating behavior
in superficial charm, attractive dress, a big
"life of the party" smile, and broad but vague words
of affection for all. During this vital seduction
portion of the game, we're swept up in the warm glow
and can easily miss or dismiss our glimpses of the
hidden control structures underneath. But, if we dare
to question the inconsistent tale or refuse to be
brushed aside with cheerful but simplistic answers,
we'll soon feel the iron fist inside the velvet
glove.
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- Expanding the
Scope
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- I've come to feel that this mentality, used to
control children and wives, is also expressed when
economic elites fleece taxpayers and working
folks, nations extract demands from other nations
-- and our culture ravages the earth and its
creatures. People of all political and cultural
persuasions can participate in this psychology, from
left to right, traditional to progressive, even those
praising democracy and spirituality. We're all part of
this system's normal.
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- One of the great ironies of abuse is that even
the abuser loses in this game. Sure, they can con
and force people to play along for a while, and
perhaps even enjoy the luxuries of unearned wealth and
glory (although it's usually amidst false smiles and
hidden misery). But soon the wheel turns and the
children escape from home, con men find themselves
conned, terrorists discover the system's weak spots,
subjects rebel, pyramid schemes fall, and the grand
plans for empire crumble for lack of foundation. The
recent toppling of Middle Eastern dictators is just
another illustration of abuse's predictable
results.
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- I also see abuse's outcomes in the escalating
collapses of mother earth's sacred survival systems.
As she's increasingly unable to absorb our reckless
blows, everyone's survival is threatened, no matter
how much money one has in the bank.
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- So how can we heal our abuse mentality to
rescue ourselves and the planet? I'll explore that
in the next Peace Press!
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- Patricia Dines has been a writer, public
speaker, and educator for over 25 years. For over 15
years, she's specialized in empowering constructive
action on community issues. For more about her work,
see www.patriciadines.info.
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